


What's an Unless?

by NotaDroid (mjonhunt)



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Comedy, F/M, Long-Distance Relationship, Major Character Injury, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-04
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:14:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 8,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24545242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mjonhunt/pseuds/NotaDroid
Summary: When Spencer sees a picture of Emily in the London social pages, he springs into action. Reid/Emily pairing. Begins after the episode "200".Chapters 1 - 6 were previously posted on FanFiction.net.
Relationships: Emily Prentiss/Spencer Reid
Comments: 1
Kudos: 18





	1. What's an Unless

Alex Blake looked at her newspaper and saw a picture of Emily Prentiss.

A few weeks ago, the photo from the society page would have meant nothing to her. She would have moved past the picture and skipped the society page altogether.

But a few weeks ago, she met Emily Prentiss. The INTERPOL agent (and former BAU member) came to help the team when JJ was abducted. It was the first time Alex had met Emily, although she had heard all about the former team member.

Watching Emily interact with the team, Alex noticed three things. First, that whatever her life was like in London, a part of her heart would always remain with the team. Second, there was one member on the team the Emily especially missed but she couldn't express it to him. Third, that same member, Spencer Reid, had the same problem regarding Emily.

Alex considered that for a moment.

That night, when Emily was here, the two of them could have changed everything.

But they didn't. Emily went back to London and Spencer was here.

Their lives would go on just like they had.

Unless.

For a moment, the lines of a song played in her head. Well, not a song so much as a moment of dialogue that lead into a brief song. It was from the TV special "The Lorax".

_A boy asked the Once-ler, "What's an Unless?"_

_The Once-ler sang, "Just a faraway word, just a faraway thought."_

_"A thought?" the boy asked. "About what? About something I ought?"_

_"Well," THE Once-ler said thoughtfully and began to sing, "A thought about something that somebody ought...a thought about something... that somebody... ought."_

Amid the memory, Alex knew nothing would change unless she did something.

She folded her newspaper, with the society page on top. Then she walked over to Reid's desk and put it in front of him.

He looked at the newspaper and then looked up at Alex, "What's this?"

"I thought you might like to read it." Then she walked back over to her desk.

Reid looked at Alex, then he looked at the paper. He saw the picture of Emily.

Then he unfolded the paper and started reading intently.


	2. Teddy Roosevelt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid impulsively goes to England to stop Emily from getting married.

Spencer Reid hated James Christopher Seibold without having ever met him. Reid didn't need to meet Seibold to hate him; Reid just had to see the picture in the newspaper. It was a picture from the society page of the _London Observer_. The picture showed Seibold with Emily Prentiss.

The picture, however, wasn't what created Reid's hatred of Seibold. Well, not by itself, anyway.

When Reid looked at the picture, he felt a sensation of a hand gripping his stomach. But what made things worse was the text that accompanied the picture.

_James Christopher Seibold, nephew of Seibold Logistics CEO Fletcher Seibold, is seen here with Emily Prentiss. Sources close to the Seibold family reveal that the couple have become close over the past few months. Is it possible that one of the most eligible bachelors in London society is now off the market?_

Reid stared at the newspaper with such intensity of anger that he half-expected lasers to come out of his eyes and set the newspaper on fire. Instead, he arranged personal leave, and got on a plane to London. It wasn't until he was half-way there that he realized he had no workable plan. He knew what he wanted to do, he wanted to convince Emily that James Seibold was wrong for her. He wanted to look her in the eyes, tell her all that was in his heart. He wanted her to tell him she felt the same.

There were three problems.

First, he had no idea how he could possibly convince her Seibold was wrong for her. He wasn't sure how to convince Emily of anything, if the truth be told.

Second, he wasn't certain exactly what was in his heart. Until he saw that article, he hadn't realized these feelings even existed. Also, he usually had a difficult time expressing emotions, particularly with women.

Third, the odds were overwhelmingly against her reaction being anything but either shock or anger. It was most likely that she would tell him to mind his own business. The worst part is that he wouldn't blame her for saying that to him.

* * *

Emily hated pictures of herself. She hated people taking pictures of her. She hated looking at pictures of her.

There was a part of her that was beginning to hate James, because he wanted pictures to be taken of her.

No, not her, of _them_. As a couple.

Emily Prentiss wasn't stupid, she knew exactly was James was and why he was seeing her. It was because his Uncle Fletcher liked Emily. James wanted pictures of them everywhere to show his uncle they were together.

Uncle Fletcher liked Emily for two reasons: because of her family and because she wasn't a boozy, drug-addled floozy. James had a talent for dating such women or other slightly embarrassing women. Emily came politicians, ambassadors, and the social upper-crust, which appealed to Fletcher's position that his family was part of the upper-crust. He liked that Emily had a career. He felt she was a good influence on James.

He was always James to Emily, not Jim or Jimmy or really any kind of nickname. Emily didn't love James, not even a little bit. To be perfectly honest, if he was using her, she was using him.

Emily had come to a point in her life when she knew the truth, she wasn't going to get married and have kids. So, someone like James was perfect. He was handsome, charming, and was an easy to maintain relationship. So, she never felt lonely, like she should be dating. She also knew that James wasn't going to propose, not unless his uncle bribed him anyway.

In the meantime, the worst she had to put up with was their picture being taken. That and going to an endless stream of society functions.

She hated high society, formal functions, and galas of any kind. Like the formal dance they were attending tonight. The truth was, she would really have preferred to stay at home with her cat, Sergio, and read a book. There was a good biography of Theodore Roosevelt that had just come out she was looking forward to reading. Instead, she was here smiling, rubbing shoulders with the upper crust (and those that wished they were) and smiling for everyone.

Including Uncle Fletcher.

James had gone to get drinks for them, and Emily was reveling in the alone time, when she heard a voice she wasn't expecting say, "Emily, I need to tell you something."

Emily turned around and saw Spencer Reid, looking surprisingly dashing in a tuxedo.

"I'm sorry, what?" She wished she had something wittier or more elegant than that, but Reid's appearance took her completely by surprise. She didn't know he was going to be here. She didn't even know he was going to be in England.

"I need to tell you something. I ... we have to talk."

"Talk? Right now? About what?"

"James Christopher Seibold."

"James?" Reid's presence was making less and less sense. Emily was wondering if she was dreaming.

"Don't marry him."

"What?" Who the hell said anything about marriage?

"I know he's handsome and charming. I know he's what most women in Western culture are programmed to desire, but he's wrong for. He's only with you because his family is tired of his casual sexual relationships and his partying lifestyle. He looks more respectable with you. Why do you think there are so many pictures of the two of you? He's trying to make sure everyone thinks only of you two as a couple."

Emily raised her eyebrows," and you came all this way to tell me this? Why not call me? And why is it your business at all?"

"Because...uh.. because". This was the part that Reid wasn't certain of. Getting into the gala wasn't hard, all he had to do was promise to give a few lectures sometime next year. Telling her what he thought of Seibold was easy too. This part, though, telling her how he felt her, was much harder.

"Reid, I appreciate you wanting to warn me about him, but I know this about him already. I know what I'm doing."

"No, you don't. If you know what he is and why he's with you, then you don't know what you're doing. You don't deserve to be used by that. You ... I can't let you live like this."

"Can't let me?"

"No. Because I ... I "

What the hell is going on, Emily wondered.

Reid could feel himself start to hyper-ventilate, but he had come too far to stop now. "I love you. I...I didn't realize it before, and I'm sorry about that. But I can't ... I know you don't feel the same but ...I can't not be here. Not now. And ..."

"Emily?" It was James. "Emily, there's a fellow Uncle Fletcher wants us to meet. And ...who's this? Do I know him?"

For a moment, Emily didn't hear James. For a moment, she didn't know what to do. Reid came to England for her.

She didn't know why, but _that_ mattered to her. An errant thought came to her. Reid would appreciate a biography about Theodore Roosevelt. He would choose reading any book over something like this.

Without taking her eyes off Reid she said, "I'll be right there, James. Just give me a minute."

"Sure. OK."

Dammit, Reid thought, she's going to tell me to go away and mind my own business.

Emily gave him a hug and kissed him on the cheek. She whispered, "Don't move. I'll be right back. I promise."

Reid watched Emily walk away, arm in arm with James. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what she was going to do. All he could do was stand there and touch his cheek where she kissed him.

"Who is that," James asked Emily.

"I need you to be calm," Emily said," because you're going to give your Uncle Fletcher some bad news."

"What do you mean?"

"We're done. Right now, I mean."

"What do you mean? Why?"

"Because I don't love you. I hate having my picture taken. And that man is my fiancé."

"What? Since when?"

"Since right now. Good-bye" She kissed him on the cheek and walked over to Reid.

James looked dumbfounded for a moment and watched Emily lead Spencer Reid to the dance floor.

As they danced, Emily asked Reid, "so, exactly when did you decide you love me?"

"When I saw a picture of you and James Christopher Seibold."

"When say his name, you make him sound like an assassin."

"That's not entirely by chance."

"So, that made you realize it? A picture?"

"And the society page columnist that speculated his was now off the market."

"I see. So, what was your plan?"

"I didn't really have a plan. I just convinced Hotch I needed some leave and got on a plane."

"So, you figured you would just show up I would dump him and take you, just like that?"

"I...no not really. I just didn't know what else to do."

"I can think of only one thing you can do right now."

"What's that?"

"Marry me."

"What?"

"Well, I told James were engaged."

"Engaged?"

"Which means by tomorrow morning, everyone will know."

"How? You think it will be in the society pages?"

"Society pages. Twitter. Facebook. Gossip. So, if you're not ready to marry me, then you better start running."

"Do you want to marry me?"

"Yes. But I didn't realize it until now."

"Why?"

"Teddy Roosevelt."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The book Emily was thinking about was The Bully Pulpit: Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, and the Golden Age of Journalism by Doris Kearns Goodwin.


	3. Daisy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily is so happy, she is humming.

Emily Prentiss was humming. She wasn't humming as in being busy, nor was she humming with anticipation. She was just humming a silly song. That could only mean one thing - she was happy.

She couldn't remember the last time she was so happy she hummed.

That's not to say that she was never happy. She had moments of happiness and moments of joy, but her happiness never rose to such levels as to cause humming. For the last ten years, it seemed all she could manage from life was making the best of things. She tried things, hoping for happiness, but it never seemed to quite be enough.

But this morning, as she took her shower, she started humming. She couldn't quite stop, and that was fine with her.

"What are doing?" The question came from Spencer Reid.

He was the reason for the humming. Last night, he appeared, telling her he loved her. It was unexpected. It was almost surreal. It was wonderful.

"Why are humming that song?" His voice was drowsy. He lay on the bed in her apartment, mostly naked under the sheets.

"Why not that song?" She didn't understand the question. She thought it was as good as song as any. It was silly song, but _A Bicycle Built for Two_ was also a sweet song as far as she was concerned.

"It's a mean song," Reid said.

"Excuse me?"

"It's a mean song."

"Are you thinking of the same song?"

" _Daisy Bell: A Bicycle Built for Two_ written in 1892."

"How is that a mean song? It's one of the sweetest marriage proposals of all-time." Before Reid could say anything, Emily started singing:

_Daisy, Daisy give me your answer true_

_I'm half crazy all for the love of you;_

_It won't be a fancy marriage_

_I can't afford a carriage_

_But you'll look sweet_

_Upon the seat of a bicycle built for two_

"Obviously you aren't familiar with the second verse."

"Second verse?"

"Daisy's response." Reid started talking in singsong, not quite singing but almost:

_Davey, Davey, here is my answer true_

_You're half-crazy if you think I'll marry you_

_If you can't afford a carriage_

_Then you can't afford a marriage_

_'Cause I'll be damned_

_If I'll be crammed_

_On a bicycle built for two_

Emily looked at Reid, dressed in her white terrycloth bathrobe and arched an eyebrow. "So, in one verse you're ruined a song I've loved all my life."

"I told you, it's a mean song."

"Only the second verse is mean. The first verse is still a very sweet proposal. Almost as sweet as when you asked me to marry you last night."

"I didn't propose."

"You most certainly did. You showed up out of the blue and first you told me James was no good for me and you said you loved me."

"Then you broke up with James and said we're getting married. But I never actually proposed."

"Are you saying you don't want to get married?"

"I didn't say that. But I didn't actually propose. I don't want to take credit for a proposal I didn't make."

"Well, I took it as a proposal and I'm telling everyone you proposed."

"I didn't realize you embraced revisionist versions of history."

"You were a whole lot more romantic a few hours ago."

"I wasn't trying to be romantic I just didn't know what else to do."

"Which why I forgive you for not being romantic now."

"I'm going to be spending a lot of time being confused, aren't I?"

"Probably. Then again, I think you might figure it out."

"There's a lot we need to figure out."

"Such as?"

"When are we getting married? Where will we live? Here? Or the US? Or someplace else?"

"And what are you going to tell Fletcher Seibold?"

"What do you mean?"

"Do you think he'll take me dumping his nephew lying down?"

"What's he going to do? Kidnap and torture me?"

"I doubt it. But he might try to bribe you."

"I'll try not laugh."

Emily smiled. Then she kissed him. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Good. Then we can figure everything else out."

Reid smiled and kissed his fiancé.


	4. Uncle Fletcher

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Fletcher tries to break up Reid and Emily.

"Emily, I think you owe me an explanation."

Emily should have known better than to expect that Fletcher Seibold would take her breaking up with his nephew laying down. The day after she broke up with James and got engaged to Spencer, Fletcher called her.

"I really don't think I do, Fletcher."

"Excuse me?" Fletcher wasn't used to people talking to him like that.

"I don't owe you anything. My relationship with James is between me and James."

"Which apparently you threw away for this academic-type who came out of nowhere."

"He didn't come of nowhere. I've known Spencer Reid for seven years. I've only known James for a few months."

"What is this really about, Emily? Did Jimmy do something stupid?"

Emily smiled. "What this is about it that I love Spencer, and I don't love James."

Fletcher laughed. "Emily, what does love have to do with anything? What I like about you is that you know enough about the world not to give in to frivolity like love. You have more sense and discipline than that. It's why I was glad James found you."

"Fletcher, did you think I was going to marry James?"

"Why not? You have a lot in common."

"We have nothing in common except we come from well-to-do families."

"What more do you need?"

"I need someone who understands me, who loves me and whom I want to spend time with. Someone who doesn't need to have pictures taken with me every day to get his family's approval. I'm sorry, but James and I were never going to work out."

Fletcher Seibold wasn't a fool. He could tell he wasn't getting anywhere with Emily. He wished her well and hung up.

He wasn't done yet, though. Emily Prentiss was too good a thing for his idiot nephew for Fletcher to let her slip through his fingers. More importantly, Fletcher felt that a merger with the Prentiss family had lots of benefits for his family and business. He wasn't going to let go of that without a fight.

Several hours later, Elizabeth Prentiss received a call from Fletcher. As soon as she realized who was calling her, she cringed.

"Hello Fletcher, what can I do for you?"

"I think it's what we can do for each other, and our families."

"Oh?"

"Are you aware about this man your daughter is going to marry?"

Elizabeth sighed. From the moment Emily started seeing James, she knew it was trouble. She and Emily didn't see eye-to-eye on almost everything, but she was proud of her daughter. What made her to most proud was that Emily refused to become some ridiculous bored socialite. Emily lived her life trying to do things that mattered.

Fletcher, however, was the kind of man who saw people, and families, as commodities. Elizabeth had no doubt he had worked out some plan where Emily marrying James was going to bring him some grand benefit. The news that Emily was marrying some else, brought a great sense of relief to Elizabeth.

"You mean Spencer?"

"Exactly. Dr. Spencer Reid. He is simply the wrong kind of person for Emily."

For a moment, Elizabeth regretted she and Fletcher weren't having this conversation in person so she could she his reactions to her words.

"Actually, Fletcher, he is exactly the right kind of person to marry Emily. If I didn't think so, I wouldn't have given him permission to marry her."

"What?" Fletcher could not keep the shock out of his voice. In fact, his voice was almost a screech.

Elizabeth smiled. "He came to see me and asked permission to propose. I thought it was so endearing. Especially since the two of them had been so close before Emily went to England."

"They were?"

"They've worked together for years. I understand he was dating someone else, and just between you and me, I think that's why she left for London. So, you see, she is marrying exactly the right person."

Fletcher's shocked silence was gratifying to Elizabeth.

* * *

"I just had an interesting conversation with my mother," Emily told Reid later that day.

"Oh?"

"Did you talk to her before you flew out here?"

"Not exactly, why?"

"Apparently she told Fletcher Seibold you asked her permission to marry me."

"Why would she tell him that?"

"He called her to convince her that you are the wrong person for me. She says she told him you asked for her permission to shut him down. She called me so if he said anything, we could keep our stories straight."

"Wouldn't the truth be the easier than lies?"

"Why do think I try to keep my distance from her? She always makes things more complicated than they have to be. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate that she's being supportive and shutting down Fletcher's attempt to sabotage things. I just wish I knew why she was doing it."

"Maybe she just wants to be supportive."

"That's what she wants me to think."

"Well, she did help me a little bit."

"Oh?"

"I wouldn't have gotten into the benefit without her."

"She helped you?"

"Yes. I called her and explained the situation."

"Why?"

"I didn't know who else to call."

"I see."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"I...I don't know."

"I know you have a ...complicated relationship with your mother, and I'm sorry if I did something wrong."

Emily looked at his eyes, saw the worry there, and her feelings of unease melted away. A warm, happy feeling replaced it. What a difference a day makes. Just 24 hours ago, she had an empty feeling regarding her life and now she felt happy.

Even better, she had hope for the future. She knew it didn't make sense, that things moved as quickly as they did, but she didn't care.

"Hey," she said softly," I love you."

"Why?"

"Because I do."

"That doesn't make sense."

"It doesn't have to." She kissed him. In the middle of the kiss, her cell phone rang.

At least, she thought it was her cellphone. When she answered it and said"Prentiss" she heard Hotch's surprised voice.

"Emily, why are you answering Reid's phone?"

Emily looked down at her coffee table to see her cellphone laying. She had grabbed the wrong one.

"Sorry. I thought it was mine."

"We must have the same ringtone."

"Is Reid there?"

"Yes. Here." She gave the phone to Reid. "It's Hotch."

"Yes?"

"Reid, where are you?"

"In London, with Emily."

"Why are you there?"

"I told you I had some important personal business."

"Yeah?"

"I had to propose to Emily. Because I love her. The amazing thing is that she loves me too."

"That's good. I...guess we need to talk when you get back."

"Yes. Yes, we do. Do you need me back?"

"No. Take your time."

"Okay." Reid hung up the phone.

"Do you have to go?"

"No. Not yet."

"Good." She smiled and hugged him. "Because I think you need to ravish your fiancé."


	5. Alex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reid returns from London to face questions, criticism, and a supportive talk from Alex.

Joseph Campbell said the hero's journey was a cycle - a going and a return. The hero goes away to an unfamiliar place and undergoes trials, then he returns home. He said that the return was in many ways harder than the departure. He likened it to getting into a wet bathing suit.

That is exactly what it felt like when Spencer Reid came back from England.

When he originally left Virginia a week ago, he didn't really know what was going to happen. After a week in London, he was engaged to Emily Prentiss. For most of the week, he felt happy - happier than he ever felt in his life.

Then he came home and told the team what had happened.

Hotch kept asking him if he had thought this through. Rossi congratulated him but gave him a kind of pitying look. Morgan asked him what he was thinking. Garcia gave him a huge, bone-crunching hug. Then she began to try to figure out how to plan the wedding.

Finally, everything calmed down and he could work at his desk.

At least, that's what he thought had happened.

He was in the middle of a consult at his desk, when Alex spoke up.

"So, you and Emily."

"Leave it alone Alex."

"What do you mean?"

"I had enough from everyone else."

"Tough."

"What do you mean?"

"You can't leave for a week, come back, tell us you're engaged and not expect us to react."

"Fine. Whatever."

"No, not whatever. You and Emily Prentiss."

"Alex, I've already heard it from both Morgan and JJ."

"Heard what?"

"That's it too soon. That we never dated so what was I thinking? What possessed me?"

"Spencer, why did you leave for England last week? Was it perhaps because of this?" She held up the picture in the society page of James Seibold and Emily dancing. The very picture that started everything.

Reid sighed "Yes. That's why."

Alex smiled, "and do you remember who showed this to you?"

Reid stared at her, then he blinked. It took him a minute to remember that it wasn't his newspaper. He had to replay the events of the last week to remember. "You did."

She nodded. "Do you know why?"

He opened his mouth, only to discover he didn't have an answer. "Why?"

"When she was here, the two of you had a look."

"A look?"

"A wistful look, like you were seeing the road not taken. So, I showed you the paper to see what you would do. I didn't expect you to run off like that and woo her. So, I only have one question."

"What's that?"

"Did you get a ring?"

"What?"

"An engagement ring. Did you get one?"

"Uh...Well...I mean"

"So that's a no?"

"Everything happened so fast."

"She needs a ring."

"Why?"

Alex laughed. "A 187 IQ, and there is still so much you don't know. You should get her a ring."

"I...I'm not certain where to even look."

Alex laugh, a warm, friendly laugh. "I'll help you."

"Thank you."

"That's what friends are for. And don't worry, the others will come around. They just need time to get used to the idea.

"If you say so."

"Just one more thing."

"Yeah?"

"Congratulations, Spencer."

"Thanks, Alex."

"You're welcome."

Alex sat down at her desk, with a gentle smile on her face. Thing had not progressed exactly as she planned, but she was pleased how everything turned out. She watched Reid working hand he had the remains of a smile on his face. It was good to see him happy.


	6. Uncle Fletcher Strikes Back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uncle Fletcher tries once more to break up Emily and Reid.

One week.

That's how long Spencer Reid was in London with Emily. That's how long it took for her to get used having him around - in her apartment, in her bed and in her life.

Now he was back in the US, and she was here.

Alone.

Being alone sucked. She remembered that in Christopher Marlowe's version of Faust, Mephistopheles said everywhere that wasn't heaven was hell. Spencer being around made her apartment heaven; with him gone ...

A week after he went home, she got a surprising phone call from James Seibold, the man she broke up with to be with Spencer.

"Emily, I was wondering..."

"Yes."

"Well, Uncle Fletcher is having a dinner party, and I was just wondering..."

"James, I'm not going to be your plus one. I'm sorry if the breakup seemed to come out of nowhere but"

"Do you remember my friend, Ben?"

"Yes?"

"Could you bring him? I mean, I want him to come and I thought maybe if you brought him."

"Ben?"

"You don't know how much it would mean to me."

Emily wasn't certain why she said yes. Maybe it was being alone. Maybe there was a peculiar tone in James voice, a strange mixture of urgency and fear. Mostly, though, Emily was perplexed why he would want her to come with Ben.

The night of the party, Emily rang the bell at Ben's flat. The door opened, and there was Ben. There was something about Ben that reminded Emily of Derek Morgan. Like Derek, Ben was attractive, athletic, and black. The similarities ended there. Ben was athletic, but his built was leaner and more angled than Derek. Derek like to dress casual, but Ben favored more formal attire. Derek always had an easy smile, while Ben always looked serious.

Tonight, Ben looked at her with something like contempt.

"I'm not going."

Ben was wearing a paisley bathrobe with matching pajamas.

"Why not?"

"I have no interest to watch everyone flatter that bastard, Fletcher. James just wants you there to make everyone think you might get back together with him. I'm not going for that."

He tried to close the door, but Emily caught it with her hand. She moved it open enough to step inside, then she closed the door behind her.

"I didn't invite you in," he said.

"I know." She recognized the look on his face. She and Ben and never gotten along, and for the first time she had an inkling why. A lot of little things were beginning to make sense.

"James wants you to be there."

"He wants you there. Because his Uncle Fletcher likes you."

"Fletcher likes the family I come from. He likes I come from money. He doesn't know about you, does he? That you and James are more than just friends? Because I didn't know, until just this minute."

Ben's look from angry to surprised. "You didn't? But he said...you didn't mind. About not being intimate. That you"

Emily smiled. "He never made much effort to much in that department. He was decent company, and that's what I wanted. Mostly, because I gave up on anything more. Then Spencer came."

"James said he never heard you talk about him before."

"He was never more than a friend before. Then he came to see me, because he thought I was going to marry James. Then he told me he loved me. Did you ever have a moment with someone, when they made you feel right - for the first time in your life, you felt right?"

"James."

"Then, what are you sitting here in a bathrobe? Why aren't you with James? Why aren't you forcing him to acknowledge you?"

"He won't. His Uncle Fletcher..."

"Rules that family with an iron fist. Sometimes people need help standing up to a bully. Is it just possible, that James wants you there tonight just for that purpose?"

"Do you think so?"

"I think there is only one way to find out."

A few hours later, Fletcher Seibold got his nephew alone. The dinner party was in full swing, and Fletcher knew it was the right time to put his plan into action. First, he had to get James to do his part.

"James, I think it's time for you to make your move."

"What move is that, Uncle?"

"Emily. It was clever of you get her here. Now you just need to get her alone and convince her she's made a mistake."

"It's over, Uncle. She's made up her mind."

"So, change it back. You're not without charm, you can convince her."

"Uncle, she's engaged."

"Is she? I don't see a ring on her finger."

"She has a fiancé."

"That's a temporary arrangement. I've got people checking him out. Soon, I'll knew every skeleton in his closet."

"Has it occurred to you that you're the only one who wants us to be together?"

"I'm used to be the only one with the right answer."

"Not this time."

"James, listen to me"

"No. Not this time. Uncle, I have to tell you something. Emily and I were never going to work out long term. No woman ever would."

"You can't sow your wild oats forever."

"Uncle, I'm gay."

"What?"

"You heard me. I'm gay."

"What...What about all those women?"

"There were always so drunk or high, they couldn't remember what we did."

"What are you saying?"

"You know my friend Ben?"

"The one who came with Emily?"

"I've been with him for 3 years. I love him. I'm going to go out there and start introducing him as my boyfriend."

"Don't you dare."

"I saw Emily dancing with that fellow...what's his name? Spencer. She looked happy. I've never seen her so happy. Do you know why? Because she loves him. She never loved me. That's fine, because I love Ben."

"Listen to me, very closely. If you go out there and say anything like that, I will disown you."

"Promise?"

"Do you understand, there will be no more money. You will be struggling to feed yourself. You don't stand a chance on your own."

"Maybe. But living in fear of you hasn't made me happy. I'm willing to give being free of you a chance."

James left the room. Fletcher didn't know what to do. A few minutes later, Emily Prentiss entered the room.

"Did you know?" Fletcher said.

"Know what?"

"Don't play games. Did you know about James? That he ..."

"You know, I really didn't before tonight. Not until I picked Ben and he looked at me like I was the other woman. Then I knew. James was always going off to do things with Ben. He didn't mind that I didn't want to be very intimate. He was good company, and I seemed to keep you from pestering him."

"I can't believe ..."

"Fletcher, it's the 21st century. In case you weren't paying attention, same-sex marriage just became legal here. And the heart wants what the heart wants. It seems to me you have two choices. You can either disown him and be known as a gigantic homophobe, which I don't think will be good for business. Or you can go out there and play the supportive and loving Uncle."

"I can't believe I didn't know."

"Maybe you should try listening to what your family wants more and not tell them to do so much. You would be amazed what you find out."

She left him alone in the room to contemplate it.

Back in the party, she saw James and Ben walking around the room, both of them beaming. She had never seen James so happy. It was the first time he seemed completely comfortable in his skin.

She wished Spencer was here with her to see it.

Someday, they would have to figure out how to be in the same country on a continual basis.

Someday.


	7. Engagment Ring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emily gets a package from Reid and bad news from Garcia.

The package was a square box in brown wrapping paper. It was six inches wide by six inches long and four inches high. Emily's name and address were written in a handwriting she recognized as Spencer's.

She wasn't certain what it was, although he had dropped a view hints about sending her something important.

In recent weeks, he had talked to her about getting an engagement ring. She tried to assure him it really wasn't _that_ important to her. It was important, sure, but she didn't want him to go overboard getting her a ring.

There were more important concerns for them as a couple. Living on two different continents was problematic. At some point, they were simply going to have to decide where they were going to live. They talked about the issue a little bit, but they never really came to decision. The sticking point was that one of them would have to give up their home and their job. Neither one wanted to force the other to do it.

Emily opened the package. There was an envelope with the words "Open me first" written in Spencer's handwriting. The rest of the package seemed to be filled with shredded brown paper. Emily assumed there was something else underneath the packing material. The envelop probably had an explanation or instructions.

Emily's impulse was to empty the box first and see what was hidden under all the packing material. However, she felt an obligation to read Spencer's letter first. Since he took the time to put it on top. She assumed there was a surprise he wanted to explain first.

She opened the envelope and there was a letter in his handwriting:

_Dear Emily,_

_I feel I might owe you an explanation. I know you said an engagement ring isn't necessary but given the unusual nature of my proposal to you, I feel it is needed. I would like to get at least one thing right._

Emily shook her head. They might not have the most traditional courtship, but that didn't mean he got any of it wrong.

_I tried to find the perfect ring for you, although Alex assures me that the perfect ring is impossible._

_Morgan and Rossi tell me I should just get a diamond ring and be done with it. Given the nontraditional nature of our relationship, I am uncertain that would be appropriate. You confirmed that inclination when we talked last week._

Emily smiled. She remembered the conversation regarding engagement rings. In addition to telling Spencer a ring was not important now, she also told him that a traditional diamond ring was not what she would want anyway. She mentioned there were several gemstone rings she had seen that she liked. She did not, however, describe what a perfect ring for her would be.

She imagined she would go ring shopping with Spencer, and they would pick something out together. Apparently he had other ideas.

_Since your birthday is in October, your birthstone would be either an opal or a tourmaline. However, opals are prone to scratching when in rings. Tourmalines are a little more durable. Sapphires and rubies are the most durable of all the gemstones, and I want your engagement ring to be something that lasts. Sapphires have long associations with peace and happiness. Some ancient cultures believe sapphires can help predict the future, although I do not believe in such things._

_I tried to find something that would simple, practical, and yet represent the unique person you are. I hope I picked well._

_Love,_

_Spencer_

Emily's curiosity was piqued. She dug through the packing material to find a ring box. She opened it and her eyes were wide.

The ring had a simple silver band and the center was a blue star sapphire, which was highlighted by small diamonds. The star sapphire entranced her. In the midst of the blue gemstone were three white lines that intersected to create the semblance of a star.

Emily remembered a trip back from a case with the BAU years ago. She was sitting opposite Spencer with a star puzzle. It was a complicated three-dimensional puzzle that was almost impossible to put together. She told him the story behind it.

A prince climbed to the tallest mountain and caught a falling star in order to woo a princess. He dropped it and had to put it together so they could fall in love.

The story did not impress Spencer Reid. He explained you can't catch a falling star. She told him it was a fable. He responded that it didn't have a moral. He also, right before her eyes, put the star together perfectly in a matter of seconds. Emily didn't remember exactly what she said in response to that, but she remembered it was not kind.

"You figured it out today, Spencer," she said. "A star to woo me." She smiled, and there was a tear in her eye.

She put the ring on her finger, and it looked even better on her hand than in the box. It would look even better when she was holding his hand. That's what she wanted even more than a ring - Spencer physically with her.

She was looking at the ring and thinking about Spencer when her cellphone rang. She saw it was Garcia.

"Hey PG," she said cheerily," what's going on?"

"Oh Emily," she said in a hoarse whisper. Emily could tell Garcia had been crying.

"What's wrong?"

"It's Reid."

"Spencer?"

"He's been shot. They're in Texas. They cornered the suspect, and there was a shoot out and…"

Emily had a hard time absorbing everything. She felt herself start to die inside. There was a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"PG, where in Texas?"

"Bristol County."

"I will be there."

"Emily …"

"I will be there. He's not allowed to die until I get there."

Emily hung up the phone. She looked around her flat and silently made a deal with universe.

She would give up her life in England. Good job and all, if Spencer would live. Just don't take him away from me, she thought, not now.


	8. Forevermore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On Emily's flight from London to Texas, she struggles with her emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was inspired by the song "Evermore" from "Beauty and the Beast" (2017) and written while watching Doctor Who - "The Snowmen"

Deals with the universe are stupid, Emily thought. The universe is a dark, unfeeling place; not an entity that can make deals. Making promises or negotiating with the universe is utterly futile.

She thought about this on her trip from London to Texas.

In her flat in London, it was easy to make the promise give up everything if Spenser lived.

Would he live? Garcia sounded so scared on the phone. Was Spencer in bad shape? He had survived so many bad situations before. He was indestructible.

She clenched her fists tightly and closed her eyes. The frustration welling up inside her. She was trying to make herself cry, but she could not make the tears come. Sometimes, it felt like she lost the ability to cry. Right now, though, she wanted to cry. As she clenched her fists, she could feel her engagement ring.

She opened her eyes, unclenched her fists, and looked at the ring. She had a ring, but not her fiancé.

Fiancé. He shows up, out of the blue, and she acts like he is her soulmate.

On the face of it, she knew it was silly, but it felt right. From the moment he said he loved her, it felt right. Only a few weeks after they were engaged, she might have lost him forever.

That's why she felt pain in her stomach and her heart. It felt like her world was ending, and the pain felt so familiar. It was the reason for her relationship with James – it didn't matter if it worked or not, she wouldn't feel deep pain if it ended. Not like this.

Being with Reid again, but in a romantic way, it was like a dream that was now turning into a nightmare.

What if he died? Would she go back to London and just live her life?

She could. She could just life her life, going on just like…

She looked at star sapphire in her ring and knew life would never be the same. Spenser Reid was a part of her, now and forever. If he died, she could go back to London, but it wouldn't be the same. The flat would smell of him. Not literally, of course, but every square inch would remind her of Spenser. It would be painful, but she would not feel empty.

What was better, she wondered, to feel pain or to feel nothing at all?

She felt nothing for years.

Well, for the almost two years she was in London.

No, it longer than that. For much longer than two years she pretended to live, but she only allowed her so much life. She lived in Virginia to make sure Declan was safe. Then she pretended to be dead to protect everyone. Then she was Emily Prentiss again, and at the first opportunity she left the BAU behind.

London was supposed to be a new adventure, but it was just being Emily Prentiss pretending to live. But it _wasn't_ really living.

Real living, however, required being open to emotions - love, anger, fear, grief, distress, and even pain. She hadn't been really alive for a long time, then a man crossed an ocean to profess his love for her.

Suddenly, for some reason, she thought about his mother. What would happen to Spenser's mother if he died? Would anyone explain it to her? Would anyone tell her? Did Reid have plans in place to take care of her if he died.

That will be my job, she thought. I could take care of her.

She laughed at herself. Diana Reid has no idea who I am. How would it look, some woman Diana never met before showing up and telling her she was Reid's fiancé? What was she going to do, recite verses from the Book of Ruth?

Where you go, I will go. Your people will be my people and your God my God.

God.

She wasn't sure if she believed in God anymore. A universe that made deals seemed more likely right now. A just God wouldn't let Spencer die right now. A loving God wouldn't be so cruel to take him now when she was going to finally have him.

She close her eyes, and felt a tear run down her cheek.

Selfish cow, she thought. Spencer is hurt, possibly dying, and she was worrying about herself.

She looked at her ring. She had him right now – in her mind, her heart and her memory. She would have him with her now and forever.

She made a decision. No matter what, whether he lived or died, she would stay in the U.S. She would either live as his wife or his widow. Well, widow in her heart, anyway. She would do what she could for his mother and live as fully as she could.

No matter what, though, she would not lose Spencer Reid. He was a part of her now, forevermore.


	9. I Know the Way

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This and all the remaining chapters take place during the Season 9 episode "Demons".

Teakettle.

Spencer Reid heard a teakettle whistling when the shooting started. That made no sense, of course, but that is what he heard. In the ambulance, that's what he told Morgan, at least before he closed his eyes again.

Then there was a bright light, so bright it hurt his eyes. He brought up his hand to shield his eyes, then he opened them.

He was outside somewhere. It was some kind of botanical garden, with colorful flowers everywhere. There were people seated in metal chairs, lots of people. The chairs were grouped one either side of a gravel path, almost like the inside of a church. At the end of aisle was…Emily.

She was dressed in white, not quite a wedding dress – it was more like a robe. She head was encircled by flowers.

It's a wedding, Reid thought. We're getting married.

Then the scene melted away, and then he was on the BAU jet, sitting next to Jason Gideon.

"Wait," Reid said, "Where's Emily?"

"Emily?"

"Emily Prentiss. We're getting married."

Gideon laughed. "I don't think so. You have too much to do, first."

Then Reid was at his desk in the BAU bullpen, with stacks and stacks of folders on his desk. Reid didn't have to look at the folders to know they were consults he had to do.

It wasn't real – none of it was real.

What was happening?

He was shot. He pushed Alex out of the way, and he got shot.

Was he dying? Is that what this was? He was dying.

No, not now. He was engaged to Emily. They were going to get married. He didn't know when or where, or where they would live afterwards – not wasn't the important thing. The important thing was he couldn't die yet. Not now – he had to live.

"That's not how this works, Dr. Reid." He was in a senate sub-committee hearing now. "You weren't recruited to the BAU to get married. You are here to catch un-subs. You have work to do."

"And I have done work. I have been doing this for almost nine years – I have helped capture over two hundred serial offenders. I have helped save countless lives and helped prevent at least two terrorist attacks. Don't you think I am owed some happiness?"

"That's not how it goes, chico."

He was in the BAU bullpen again, and Elle Greenaway, his former colleague was there. "They just take and take until there is nothing left."

Suddenly, Spencer was in a cemetery. "No, it can't be all there is."

"It isn't."

Spencer turned around, and he was in his mother's room at the Bennington Institute. His mother was sitting in her chair, reading a book. She put the book down and looked her son.

"I don't know what's going on Mom."

She smiled sympathetically at him. "Yes, you do, Spencer. You were shot. You've lost a lot of blood and you're unconscious. They will rush you into surgery. You will either live or you will die. Which means you have a choice to make."

"Me?"

"The doctors can only do so much, Spencer. Recovery from this kind of a wound, it's dependent on the patient's mental state as well as their body."

"I almost died before."

"And you lived. Will you do the same now?"

"It's not up to me."

"Yes, it is. Chose to live or to die. Listen to your inner demons – fear and despair or listen to your better angels – love and hope. The choice is always yours."

"I choose to live."

"Why? Reasons and intentions are important, Spencer."

"I choose to live because …because…"

"Yes?"

"I'm going to get married. I wrote you about her. About Emily."

"I know. Can you find your way to her?"

"I can find my way to him," Emily said. There was Emily, dressed in white, flowers in her hair. She took his hands and kissed his cheek. "Now come on, you have somewhere to be."

"Oh?"

"Surgery. You have to live."

"What about our wedding?"

"This isn't real. It's just a dream."

"I think it's more of a hallucination."

"You're dying and you want to argue semantics?"

"Maybe."

"Really?"

"Well…"

"Find your way home. You know everyone is going to be scared. You must wake up. You must live. You know why, right?"

"To get married?"

"To finish what you started."

"Me?"

"You're the one who flew to England to see me."

"Do you even know if I've been shot?"

"I'm here."

"That's because you're in my mind. I don't have you as an emergency contact. I don't know if…"

The dream-Emily kissed his cheek again. Even more reason for you wake up, then. Don't you think?"

"Yeah."

"Do you know the way home?"

"Yes."

"Then wake up."

Reid opened his eyes. He looked around the room. He was in a hospital room. There was a tray in front of him, with Dr. Who action figures. He looked over and he saw Alex Blake in a chair.

"Reid," she said. "Thank God."

"Call Emily," he said. " I want her to know I'm okay."


End file.
